Plans and Pirates

Metacognatively speaking, I think that I think too much about the future. I have always been a worry wart and a planner. Worry wart is a gross term. Anyways, there have been numberous times in my life where I thought something was going to happen a certain way and it ended up being a complete disaster. For example, when I was six my family and I moved to Appleton, WI where I started first grade. I thought it would be a good idea for me to go to school dressed as a pirate. I swept my hair back into a tight ponytail like a man, slipped on my billowy white shirt with ruffled sleeves, and pulled on my black pants and boots. I was ready. In my first grade mind I thought three things.
1. I look cool in this outfit.
2. People will think my outfit is cool.
3. I love pirates.
Unfortunately, I didn't plan to miss the bus and have to run in my clunky boots to the next stop. I didn't plan to cry at reading time when no one wanted to sit next to the pirate. I didn't plan to walk around the playground by myself for recess and watch the other kids make friends. I didn't plan to have the worst day of my life (up to that day anyways).
I didn't plan any of those things and because my plans didn't work out, I was dissappointed. I felt cheated and hurt. I couldn't understand why I didn't have the most perfect first day of school ever. Sometimes things don't go the way we plan and we don't understand why.
This happens to me quite often, not getting teased for wearing pirate outfits, but getting dissappointed and having my plans not work out. This has been a difficult thing for me to surrender to the Lord because I always want to figure everything out. I have learned that sometimes you don't see the reason behind what happened until much later, which is also maddening becasue I'm extremely impatient. It's so hard for me to daily surrender my life, my plans, and my dreams to the Lord. I think it's partially becasue I want to believe I have some control over my life and also because I'm scared that what I want isn't what He wants for me.
I have wanted to be a mom since I was 5. I have trouble giving this over to the Lord becasue I'm afraid He doesn't have this in His plan for me. I know it's silly to fear the plans of God because they are ultimately way more incredible than anything I could possibly dream up. My feeble mind can't possibly comprehend how amazing God is and how intricately his plan fits together. My life is like a single thread in God's tapestry. All I see are the knots, twists, and complicated stitches underneath, while God sees the grand design; perfectly woven together in an extraordinary masterpiece.
These verses are always encouraging to me:
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." 3:5-6
"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4
It's good to have dreams and plans and desires, but we must trust that God's plan is best and that He is in control.

and that's pretty much it...